Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
April 2
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,669
Favourites
1 (who?)
Comments
28
×
Life doesn't always make sense and no one ever told me that it would.  People have told me a lot of things which have turned out not to be true.  I've been told that there is a reason everything happens, that we have to fight through it all, that we are never given more than we can handle.  I don't know how much of that is true.  I don't find it easy to accept that there is a reason that everything happens.  Sometimes things happen that are just bullshit and there is no reason. 

I met a woman a long time ago.  I fell in love with her, completely.  I felt ways about her that I have never felt about anyone.  I thought things about her that I had never thought about anyone.  I imagined a future, a family, a marriage.  I dreamed of spending the rest of my life with her and to this very moment I am sitting here still thinking of all of those things.  She, apparently, didn't share my views on all of that.  She appeared to, she told me that she did, but something happened and I can't make sense of it.  She seems to have slipped away from me, or more accurately, she seems to have shoved me right out of her life. 

I know that this isn't a unique story and I know that many of you who are reading this, assuming anyone is reading this, have been through it before.  For me, though, it is somewhat unique.  I've been left behind, but never like this.  I've never lost someone for apparently no reason, I've never been left here holding all of these dreams and wishes and hopes.  Normally, I'd see it coming.  This came out of nowhere, this came for what I can only imagine is no real reason.  I cannot make sense of it, I cannot make sense of anything right now.  All I do know is that I am broken... but I can't quit.

I believe in something, I believe in someone and that gives me this drive to keep pushing forward and to keep trying.  I cannot accept that everything is gone and I cannot believe that a love like this has faded away so quickly.  My heart is leading me, and I am following it, and even if it leads me to a place of total destruction I will follow it because I have to know.  I have to know that, at the end of the day, I did absolutely everything I possibly could to regain this love.  I cannot give up on this.  I cannot give up on her.  I cannot give up on us.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconladylincoln:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It pains me to see you hurting, but you always have my support and love. :heart:
Reply
:icondani-the-naiad:
Dani-the-Naiad Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
That sucks.  You're right to do all you can.

Have you read Richard Bach?  Bridge Across Forever is a fantastic take on soulmates.  My fav now.

Sending you my best vibes. :meditation:
Reply
:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014
I'll have to look into it.
Reply
:icontheemptychest:
TheEmptyChest Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014
Well, of course I don't know the details, but it sounds to me like she has problems with intimacy. I've been in a similar situation, and unfortunately there's really no easy way to resolve it. Have you tried having an honest discussion with her about it? In order for a relationship to work, both partners have to work at it -- they have to be able to communicate and trust one another. If you can't communicate with this girl or trust her, you really can't have a relationship with her.

That said, regardless of what's going on with her, it's you I'm more concerned about. You're investing all your happiness in this girl, and I cannot even begin to tell you how dangerous that is. You have to establish happiness in your own life before you can have happiness with someone else. Honestly I suggest you take a step back from all this before pursuing anything. Really take a moment to think about why you're so into her and if a relationship with her would be worth it. As QuiEstInLiteris said, you deserve someone who wants what you want. If there are conflicts of interest between you two that cannot be resolved without compromising who you are and what you want in life, then I suggest letting her go.

Hope everything works out. :heart: 
Reply
:iconirrevocablefate:
IrrevocableFate Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014   Writer
I don't have any particular advice, just hugs. ♥ :hug:

You know I'm always here for you.
Reply
:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014
:hug:
Reply
:iconirrevocablefate:
IrrevocableFate Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014   Writer
:huggle:
Reply
:iconmarenne:
Marenne Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Professional Artisan Crafter
Maybe she doesn't even know herself, why she left. I know it sounds lame but sometimes it takes months to figure out why you just had to run. and it that case it wasn't you at all, nothing you did. It was something in her she didn't (doesn't) know yet.
Reply
:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014
Well... I don't know.  That could be.  I can say that based on her behavior lately, she definitely isn't herself.
Reply
:iconfoolsightblind:
FoolSightBlind Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014
Although i know some would say it's better to cut your losses and move on, i think it is better ( particularly if there's no ultimate fix) to know fully you left nothing unsaid or un done....i think that....when you look back, it's less regretful that way....just my 2 cents....nothing said by others really helps, but :hug:
Reply
Add a Comment: